The ladder is not yours to climb

If you know me by now (or if you don’t, I’ll tell you!), healing from the inside out is tantamount to the work I do with women.

I’ve seen it time and time again in my life and in the lives of my clients. This desire to fix things on an outer level, but that ending up being a futile attempt at sustainable change or real transformation.

I recently heard an interview with Sonya Renee Taylor, speaking with Brené Brown about her book, My Body is Not An Apology. Let me tell you, her fire and conviction had me literally on my feet, energy filling my body with such passion for the words she spoke, I was moving around the room as I listened to just process all the truth!

Internalizing a patriarchal structure in our society has not only marginalized people, men, and women, it roots in and grows like a sickness in your body, your psyche, your very being.

Renee speaks of body hierarchy that is like a ladder we keep trying to climb.

“Divest from this ladder. It’s only real because we keep trying to climb it. We have no more use for it. When I don’t have the ladder to climb and I understand my natural birthrights, the ladder is imaginary. We already came here with everything we need to be destined to be who we came here for.”


We don’t WANT the ladder, so let’s stop trying to climb it! YES!

Constant trying to climb any hierarchical ladder can manifest as:

Constantly feeling shame or a heaviness because you don’t fit into an ideal of physical beauty laid out for you.


Constantly working, over-working, producing to somehow feel worthy to an outside entity that is never satisfied.

Focusing on “rules” you have been given, doesn’t come close to matching up with your core values.

Not knowing your core values because you’ve never been taught to follow your own desires or instincts, but to only listen to what others think you should do.

Not understanding or knowing how to access the feminine powers of trust, softening, feeling, being, or loving yourself as much as you are told to love others.

It’s an upside-down, backward way of living that has not only made generations of women question themselves and not BE who they were designed to be but women who have lived in prisons of shame and unrealized dreams, as they tried to keep up with the world’s standard of who they should be.

I’ve seen this affect the women in my ancestral line repeatedly, which fuels my WHY for doing the healing work with women that I have been called to do.

First, I had to do it in my own life. Then, I never stopped holding space for others. It’s my calling, my purpose.

Not only has my entire life transformed, but I see my clients transform every day!

The good news is – the powerful truth is – once you become aware of what is holding you back and keeping you stuck in the same patterns, the same shame, the beliefs that you’ve internalized, you can TRANSFORM them.

This is not easy work. It requires persistent and consistent focus, re-choosing yourself, again and again, trust, letting go, feeling, and embodying a whole NEW paradigm.

When you become aware and say YES, I am willing to begin this work to dismantle anything in me that is not true or mine, we can begin.

This creates a ripple effect of more women who see you becoming you and want this for themselves. This dismantling begins on the inside and begins to ripple out to the outside. As they work their way out to the dominoes on the outside, the inner dominoes begin to fall.

The old systems begin to fall because you are no longer “buying” into them quite literally. You no longer hold the old beliefs of needing to achieve to be worthy, fit into a certain beauty mold or disregard the divine feminine power you have always had within you. You no longer give these lies weight, time, or even your money. So they begin to die. They have no more oxygen. You are not adding life to them any longer, so they cannot survive.

Then you realize that by giving these old systems and beliefs life by giving them your energy, you were helping to keep them alive!

This ignites a fire in you! This is not ok, you say! You begin to see and feel the role you have played in continuing to prop them up! And you say no more!

You also begin to see and feel the POWER you have to take them down!

This looks like this:

A new way of BEING in your life and with your body.

Choosing love over fear.

An allowing, not a controlling.

A releasing, not a gripping. A softening. A heart-opening.

Finally feeling your feelings, all of them. Grief, anger, happiness, love, sadness.

Devotion to your soul care and self-care and divine energy source above all else.

Love in action instead of Action fueled by shame and “should'”s.

Love embodied as much for yourself as it is for those you love.

Unlocking your true voice and speaking out what you truly desire to speak and share.

Dismantling the internalized patriarchal structures and lies you’ve taken on, restores you to the powerful, knowing soul you came into the world as. You that came into the world with the Birthrights to love and be loved, to need, to take action, to be you and still belong, and to exist as you.

This is soul work, as one of my beloved clients said as she shared her takeaway from our session the other day: “I just realized this work that we are doing in our sessions, IS the most important thing in my life right now. It’s profound.

I couldn’t agree more! And my heart leaped in my body that she fully realized this SO powerfully too!

My heart is leaping thinking about you dear soul, choosing this for yourself!

You are so worthy already, so capable of creating a life you are on fire to live and all you need to do is begin by saying YES.

Sending you so much love for your journey,

Lan Linh

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *